Reset the Dial

     I get off work and quickly put away the laundry from the dryer before needing to head to the gym. Meticulously taking each piece of clothing and putting it on a hanger one by one. As I do so, I wonder why I felt such a need to do this task before leaving, the clothes would certainly wait for me to return no less dry than before. I find putting away clothes to be cathartic, but far more tedious than anything. Despite that, I know that I will be better for having done so now than later. 

    As a kid, I always hated chores, partly because of the usual child reasons of not wanting to do boring things but much more because I hated any task that would have to be done again. It's why I loved games that had you do boring everyday tasks because I knew that I'd only ever have to do them the one time and I would be done forever. So I avoided these tasks, rarely cleaned my room, and lived in chaos. Even though this was not an ideal way to live, I was very good at separating my surroundings from my state of mind, a tool I used far too much throughout my life.  The issue is that this always leaves you on edge, never quite allowing yourself to be where you are. 

    Now the tasks that need to be done have grown ever more, like a veritable array of dials all ticking towards doom less they are addressed and reset. The clothes need cleaned, dryer and put away. The food needs to be bought, made, eaten, and dishes cleaned. The floors cleared, swept, and mopped. All these tasks will need to be done again and again without ever ceasing. Yet despite that, I want to have them all done now more than ever. 

    My issue with chores was that they were never towards a greater end, no matter how many times they were done they would always come back. I saw doing them as time wasted, time that would never come back and if I could live a while longer without them then I should.  However, I found that I couldn't be at peace unless they were done. As I lay in mess my mind is a mess and time lies still.  

    As annoying as I find resetting the dials to be I need to do so.  For when the gas is filled, the clothes are clean and away, the pantry full, floors clean, I can take a deep breath and time can finally start to pass again as the dials start to tick away.